| hi... |
[20 Nov 2004|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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 yawn |
] |
well today was ok...i guess and i feel wierd,idn y but i do...today my mom saw myhand and asked me if i cut myself...i said no...and i tecnically didnt lie...but i didn't tell the truth...because i didnt cut myself...i just played abc, right? well idn...and todya i went to the moviesand snuck my friends in..my parents said not to do it anymore....hummm hehehe..lol it was FUN! and i kinda feel bad tho...we never had our family meeting tonight... i wonder what happend well syd isn't here right now...shes at her friends house...sam went to her dad's :'( right now i am listening to music...dont feel to good...:( oh well what else is new... oh we talked to maxy on the phone that was funny...he couldn't here us...lol...right now i am board as hell...soi am going to go play a game or sumthing..l8er
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| ughh! |
[17 Nov 2004|08:22pm] |
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mood |
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 idn |
] |
ughh well today was o.k. but i dont knwo what was bothering me so much...i was like quiet...idn y its not because i can't decide who i like...i still like nick sumwhat but i really like kenny...nazli is telling him tomarow...if he dosen't like me i am gunna be crushed...but i think i will always like nick in that wierd way...hummm, idn oh yesterday was so much fun lol we were like going absolutly crazy at max's house...i feel bad that i hit vinny...but he pissed me off and he said i could...so i did. i am so confused though...i wanna go out with kenny...he would be my first bf ever but he would be really cool as a bf cause hes just so ...idn how to describe him. i dont like being confused :/ it hurts my brain and then i dont feel good.hummm oh well ...today i kinda played the abc game...haha fun game... hurts like hell it stings! ouch lol. sry that i couldn't go to the lybrary with u kevin! i thought u were gunna like call me to tell me to cause i didnt know if u were really going to be there so i didn't knwo what to sdo i am soooo sry!oh and over max's it was so funny.! lol me and sam had such a great tie...the only thing that sucked was walking home.ugh...birrrr. well i am cold no birrr i am gunna head out l8er peace <3
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| well i am pretty good |
[15 Nov 2004|08:29pm] |
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mood |
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 pretty happy |
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well today was pretty the best day this year so far i am so happy and hyper...max ...evil snowmen are attacking my house! dog goes ribbit ribbit...lol...ur so funny u made me feel so happy today...i win no doubt!...lol today i found out a secret that made me feel bad i feel bad for my friend...he might get hurt...i dont want it to happen... :'( i hope he wont... and the person i like thinks i like him...well hes pretty damn right! lol kevin told me...dont worry the perosn i like can't like read this cause i dont know his sn...lol i will soon though i hope...lol...well i am gunna head out...peace
p.s. sam it our of the HELL HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!again...lol DONT GO BACK I LOVE U O MUCH!<3
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| fuckin pised off |
[14 Nov 2004|09:07pm] |
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mood |
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 liers! |
] |
ok i am fucking pised off and my sister...she dosen't relize that i pove her to mother fucking death and she thinks nobuddy loves her...well u know what I DO! and she dosen't seem to care....wtf is wrong wit ehr? i try to be nice but since she gets pissed off esily i get pissed at her cause shes pissed at me...its like a row of bombs blowing off.. one after another cause my friend lied to me...like *he or she*(not sammy) said thay would talk to me ...but u knwo what all he/she did was say hi...yeah thats talking...u used to be like THE best friends with him/her and its pissin me off...yeah i know that hi is saying smthing but wtf! i miss him/her so much..we used to hang out ALL the time and now he just left me cause were in inermedeiate...well honestly i can't get over it cause he/she was so nice i dont wanna lose that... but i can always gain another one just like it but i am trying so hard to cause u knwo what...i am that kind of person and i dont knwo whats wrong at the moment with him/her...i wish i was in sixth again :'( i miss everyone...all my old friends...even my enimies...I WANT MY "OLD" LIFE BACK...but i guess i can't...
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| sry |
[14 Nov 2004|12:21am] |
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mood |
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 so cold. |
] |
Sry i haven't writen in a while...i've been sumwhat busy. and frezzing...well i'll start at the dance...i was at the dance...it sucked ..atleast my friends were there. i told kevin who i liked...i am happy he didnt tell...i can trust him now ...hes nice now and i regret saying that i hated him because he is pretty cool. i dont know why i didnt like him hes so funny.lol. hummm after the dance i basically crashed,after that today ummmmm i did absolutly nuthing. exept go to the mall and stay online...right now today i am frezzing my as off infront of my computer i feel like i have hypithermea...u knwo when ur really cold and u can't stop shaking...i hate that bir....it looks like i have terrets.lol. i am going to write in here tonight don't worry.lol right now i am listening to bitchin comaro...it is so funny. they sound drunk.haha, how i would know?..iu a, just "special" it even said on my b-day card that i got today lol. birrrrr i am going to go cause i am freezing my ass off! l8er
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| i'm sry |
[08 Nov 2004|09:52pm] |
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mood |
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 im sry. |
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i am sry to ewin.i didn't tell anyone,i am so sry...i would died for u i didnt mean to do anyhting wrong...u told me to tell u what i herd and i told u...but it was the wrong thing.and i made a big mistake...i am sooooooooooo sry i know this dosen't mean anything to u...but its worth a try. sam didnt tell me the wrong story...i just herd it wrong...but i would do anything for u...i knwo u probly dont wanna tlak to me anymore but mark said nobuddy likes me so i am going with that idea...mark ur right...nobuddy dose...nobuddy that i used to know...but i can make new friends...ewin was deffinatly one of the best friends i ever had...he was probly the best at oen point in time...he was THE nicest person in one point in time...but now i screwed everything up. and everyones mad...i am sry.i am sry to everyone. i dont want any pitty from anyone cause i dont deserve a dime...just go on with ur lives...like i was never there....ewin i hope we become better friends and u read this and u understand how i made the mistake...u were just tlaking in general...no to sumone spacific...mark ur a whoooooole nuther story. i'll talk about it another time...sam u make me feel so happy sry for everything i put u threw.i am so sry ewin...please for give me..i knwo its like the 1000 time i've asked u for a forgiveness...i am surprized u did...i shouldn't have a friend good as u...u were the best friend as a boy...u can never top anyone else... but if u dont forgive me i can understand.all i have to say it IM SORRY...
p.s. if u know ewin and would care to tell him to read this it might be good if u do and u would make me sooo happy.
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| watching shrek with sammy! |
[07 Nov 2004|07:54pm] |
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mood |
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 happy (sam) sad (dexter) |
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hey i am sitting here with sammy ...my bestest estestestest! friend ever! lol but dexter ...i miss dexter...:'( i want him back!!!! his life was to short. but sam is back from a place of hell!!!!! woohoo! a stupid ass place that is ...well ...wierd. life is wierd...to many damn people get hurt... ugh! stupid fucking ass people...but i am watching shrek with sammy.Hi peoples! its sammy!....chel is my bestestestestestestestestestestestest friend EVER!!!!!!!!!!....shes so great...and shrek 2 is soo cool!...lol..yay im back from a hell hole!!!....it was so bad!Well i dont knwo what else to write cause...there is nuthing else to write about... PEACE
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| hey |
[06 Nov 2004|12:45am] |
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mood |
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i dont know |
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hey well yeserday was my b-day and it sucked ass well in the morning it did cause my hamster died...R.I.P. DEXTER BEST HAMSTER EVER!<3<3<3
well altleast sam was over ilhsooooooooooooooooooooooooooomuch <3 and then we went to the movies we were so loud i got like shushed like 5 times...it was funny...::yawn well i am tierd i am gunna go ...peace out boy/girl scout
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| yay! |
[03 Nov 2004|09:08pm] |
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mood |
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to many things |
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yay i am so happy ! cause my friend told sumone about her dad and what he was doing to her! yes...!!!! woohoo! i am so happy best b-day prestent ever!!!!. ugh worst presant ever...i am starting to like sumone...gir! i dont wanna ! it is hard not to thuogh. cause he is so nice to me and like i like i dont know...hes nicer to me then most poeple are. and i feel bad cause most people dont treat me like this exept sammy! and i shuoldn't be treated that nice...its odd to be treated liek that because i am not used to it. but hes so nice! lolonly 2 people know though so its not liek omg i wish he new shit but i like him as a friend and sum what more then a friend ...u knwo what i mean?u know one say i am gunna come back a readthis and be like wow...i was so wired...welll i dont knwo what else to say tonight exept i amreally tierd and hyper lol dosent make sence but oh well
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| i am board |
[29 Oct 2004|10:13pm] |
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mood |
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 ew. |
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ok i went to the movies tonight...i shouldn't of ...cause my sisters bf was comming...well they made out yeh so everyone dose...but 16 times is a bit to much...it was so wierd...blah i can't belive she did that infront of me...i mean i love my sister but...common...i knew i shold of satinfront of them...leah and ariel didn't seem to ave anything to do with me....but i couldnt fall asleep...i felt so unloved there i wish i had a friend with me , cause it was boaring as hell there. i saw wlshy when i was going out and ryan sabaskie....ewww....it was so funny that i was getting into my car and i got in and while i was going in i say eww. lol it was so funny...but right now i am gunna go cause i amtierdas hell*
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| confused... |
[28 Oct 2004|10:02pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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ok well my friend went out with my sister and we used to hang out like sumwhat alot of times but after theybroke up it is like he wants nuthing to do with me... i know thats kind of odd but helike was y best friend and i miss him...so much we used to be so tight and now i am just afraid of lossing him...i dont want to cause he was like the best friend i ever had...i am so scared of lossing him...it might not seem like it to him but it seems like we r drifting away i know it sounds wierd...and i nevertlk to max anymore ...they bot seem like embaresed of me for being there friend but many people r probly...but we have been friends since the 3rd grade and i am loosing him now...:'( wtf is that!?!?!i mean yeah u have friends that r ur friends and then ur not but imagine like ur best friend...EVER like didnt want anything todo with u anymore...thats what i feel like...if ur the person i am talking about...i am sry i dont know what i did to make u like not wnna talk to me but i am sry...i just miss u.................in other words today kevin the one who pokes me todeath tied my shoes together....and i was so hyper i wouldnt stop talking or anyhting...the teacher kept telling me to shut up...well i wanna talk leave me alone....i miss my friend...but i have sammy always but i mean a boy hats a friend cause i miss him :( if u r this person i really do...
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| Why r people ass's? |
[26 Oct 2004|05:22pm] |
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mood |
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 to many things to Much time... |
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Ok everyone on my buss is being an ass exept leah i am happy lollypop(nick) is on my buss he makes me feel better...hes so nice...and kevin keeps poking me! ugh...and i forgave the basterd after what he said to me...what an ass...and the people on my buss keeps calling me a man...and!!!!!! my sister dosent seem to wnna talk to me...oh well goota learn to not to talk sumtimes. and my friends dad is hitting her u knwo she isnt a fucking punching bag and i cant even talk to my sister cause she will tell my mom and i cant tell guidence i dont want her dad to do this to her anymore...she dosent deserve it:( u know she never did anything wrong...ever...iam so glad i have friends to help me. especially sam...thanks britt(cusin) for what u worte befor ur right they arent eerything and i am to young. ilu so much <3 and sammy!<3 and all my friends <3 i hope they all know that. but the people that wanna mess with me right now...u DONT know what u r getting in to...cause i havent been in the best mood and i am ready to hurt the first person that bhurts me...
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| hi. |
[22 Oct 2004|05:21pm] |
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mood |
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PEOPLE ,PEOPLE EVERYWERE! |
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Hey sry i haven't written in a while buti'll try to stay in the habbit ..sry...well today was ok till stuipidass kevin said sumthing really mean...i said i wasnt special enough to go to his party but kevin said well u r i am just not sure u'llfit threw the doors...u know what that was so mean! i wanted to cry buti moved to another table....and i am still mad i am glad iamgoing toa halloween party i cant wait...connar said also but he said dont be mad take it as a joke he said u can fit therw the doors if u open up both. U know what the fuck did i ever do to people!?!?!?! and then at lunch it was scary not mean people were like hey chelsea come over here and they were all boys and i didnt know anyof them but one of them is on my late buss. but it scared me and i felt really bad because i didnt go over there...hummm i wonder who they r. welll i am gunna head out to the mall...yohoo
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| Humm... |
[19 Oct 2004|09:50pm] |
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mood |
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i dont know... |
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today ...hum i basically forget what happend today...i was tierd and didnt understand anything...i wanted to hang out with a friend so badly today...but iwas stupid not to call anyone...I am going to the ice rink on Friday...yesss...i wanna go so badly. ugh well my sis dosent want me tohere hertalk when she talkes so LoUdLy...how the hell am i not supposed to hear her?It feels like i am only conected a couple people i cant name them cause that wouldn'tbe fair to everyone else.butsam is one and ewin and monto and walshy and a bunch of other people...but like i hear things about myself in school already from people i dont know! ugh i dont know what i do i just try to be nice to people but i guess they dont like what i have to give...i try so hard...i g2g peace
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| I don know anything |
[15 Oct 2004|04:39pm] |
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mood |
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to much going on... |
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I dont know anything anymore. i am screw this year badly...kevin is poking me so much it hurts.today i got my flu shot and bobby hit me right there. ugh... i want the ice rink toopen...other wise i will crack soon...seriously....u dont know how much i have been wanting for the ice rink to open omg.... ugh i feel like i am treating my friends so baddy right now idont know y i feel like i dont belong to have such great friends. i am to much of an ass to have good friends.
i deserve like bad friends cause i treat my friends like shitand they shouldn't be trwated like shit.i wish i could but i try to be nice but nice to me is perfect and i am the ferthisy thing from it ohysically and mentally. i know nobuddy reads his but it seems to help me stop ...... but i dont anymore cause i've learnd to deal with it. i hope i can stay this way but i want to be my old self...i didnt careabout anything but friends andfamily and school.but now...now i dont know what happend. i treat everyone like shit i anoy the hell out of them and i shouldn't it is wrong to... and i feel bad that i do but once i go to theice rink again i will be fine...it is my therypy. i wish i could skate all year long... :( unfortunatly not...WHICH FUCKING SUCKs!!!!!!!well i dont knwo whatelse to write...cause humm.....PEOPLE ON MY BUS R MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!! exept *leah and my sister* i love my sister i wish she knew how much...
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| today was a sucky ass day |
[14 Oct 2004|05:48pm] |
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mood |
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 stupid buss people |
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Today my friends was a SUCKY ASS dAy people on my bus didnt want me to sit in the back but they let me since and every one voted me out so fuck them!i will get out but then there gunna pay sumhow.hehehehehe....today was also really bad cause kevin keeps poking me itellhim it hurts and hes starting to brusie my sides it hurts like hell...maybe its just me. atleast i got to play with andrews hair i made it all pretty like.lol. i gave kevin the middle finger in science lol but we were kidding around. and evan wont ask out sumone that he saidhe would and i amgetting mad...lol jk. but he said he would. hummm what else happend today...i saw sam in school and we saw this sstop thingy and when they saidmr smith everyone was like woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!! but when they said mis soke every one went wooooooooo......lol it was sofunny meand cory we laughing alot because of that lol.i want to listen to senses fail so badly right now...but my sister has it and i have to still do my hw...gir....... ugh i hate hw.tomarow i dont knwo what i am going to do tomarow....hummmmm.......well tomarows friday! hopfully board walk!!!!!!!! :D
sammy is my bestestestestestestestestestestestest friend ever!!!!!!!! lol lol peace every one!
p.s.ICE RINK OPENiNs MONDAY!
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| ugh |
[12 Oct 2004|02:59pm] |
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mood |
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thinking |
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Well this kid today my friend kevin lets just say he by accident tuched me...and i feel really bad cause if i didnt turn he wouldnt of and sum kid might tell his gf and i dont want that to happen.so i feel bad.and i cant emagin how bad he must feel.thinkin about all of my friends and i am ugly as hell i even asked this kid andrew if i was he said i was and so did this other person...so i guess i am.any insults u tell me i'll take cause i know i am...i am ugly as hell and never will get a bf and i know it every one knows it mike walsh ur going to lose five dollars for sure! nobuddy likes me in the wholeeeeeee school! well i am used to it cause i have been not liked since thegod damn fuckin first day of kindergarden even preschool. my own cusins say they dont like my cusin ian who i used t be so colse with is like the farthest person he thinks my sister is nicer than me. i mean sure most of the time she is but common. i try so hard to keep my self in one peice and i and a bomb tickin ready to blow at any second...i dont like this feeling inside me thats like of u should do this it will make u feel better i made a bad misstake last year of what i tried to do and i lost alot of friends but i got found out who my true friends r. but i still feel like i should cause i am never happy in 5th grade i was the fuckin happiest person u would ever meet now i am the wise ass no buddy likes to talk to...wtf is rong with me that people dont like about me.i hate myself and i wish i would go back but i love my friends and i cant leave then for a stupid reason. i mean most of my friends have it worse than me...and i take what i have for granted and i feel so bad that i do i just wanna give everything up what i have then not have one friend that cares the least bit for me i mean i have friends but i i didnt have one i would do anything for a friend.i mean i dont even care if they talk behind my back to many poele have already done that and yeah that sucked but i had to take it truthfully. likethis girl steffanie talked behind my back she said she didnt want me in the class room. i wish i was like liked if u knwo what i mean it would make me feel so special all i want is to feel special...
peace :'(
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| YAY i think. |
[10 Oct 2004|01:36am] |
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mood |
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no sister |
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YAY i am going to be here for my b-day! i cant wait but yet i wont get to c my sister:'( and give her the present i made her. my sister just left my mommy might take me to the board wlak to play ddr. i hope i go i am board...really board. well i dont know what else to write...hummm oh i met matt and kevie they seem awesome amanda is kinda coocoo. lol i had a great time at the game i saw evan there and walshy i had a great time. well i am out! like robert gardner in dodgeball!
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| i WoNdEr |
[06 Oct 2004|06:15pm] |
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mood |
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hummm.. |
] |
I wonder if I'll EVER get a bf. i know probly not this year or ever......cause i am so damn ugly!:'( and i know it...which sucks too. today was so wierd...hated math class...the two people next to me were cursing each other off and started throwing punches. nobuddy would stop it and the teacher wasnt in the room...so i had to break it up...it was cool too cause my friend steffie got asked out by nick...they look cute together.i dont like anybuddy yet...dont think i will...cause whats the point.i would be amazed if a boy EVER liked me or asked me out.seriously. i mean yeah i think people r hot as hell but i dont like them."like them" if u know what i mean. i love the song i listening to right now...i listen to it every morning...when i sit ...all alone...nobuddy likes me enough to sit with me. I can understand though...i think. so i look at the window for the sunrise...i love the sunrises they r full of color...red blue orange hot pink...very pretty. when there is not one i try to fall asleep...dosent work.but i try. i think i am going ot target soon.found money in my room...dont know what to buy. thikning also about what i am gunna do on my b-day...probly nuthing cause i am not gunna be ehre which sucks! i dont wanna leave on my b-day... now there was no point on having my b-day on friday and not even having a party that weekend...now i dont really want one...
well i am gunna head out...i think well
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| so... |
[05 Oct 2004|03:01pm] |
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mood |
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 well half and half |
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So...i found out today that the ice rink opens soon. Ugh i love the ice rink. I that i get all my anger out there yet i am happy...weird huh...lol. Well today in school was ok...i really didnt get to talk to ryan or johnathyn or mariel...But this kid kevin who is so funny who is taking the s.a.t.s with me in january kept on poking me...like on the sholder and i kept turning around and he was on ht eothe side. i fell for it so many times lol. Every one was laughing at me. And cory like talked like he was donald duck! he sounded like him too it was so funny.i screamed every time he did it cause it was so ...wierd...lol. I feel like dancing, i dont know why...lol...nObuddy is talking to me and i feel alone. so i felt like wrighting that. And i did finish my book report. But i have to do the Debat thingy tonight it sucks! otherwise i wouldnt have any hw. I am getting sick of sewing class....But thankfully johnathyn is in it and J. this is random but it sucks to be single...i knwo why no boy likes me cause i am ugly!!!!!!!!:( and i know it. got out stupid i.d. card i look so fat and ugly ugh...which i am...well i am gunna go outside and sk8 l8er...
Nobuddy probley reads it anyway....
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